Jetlagged and erkältet (as we say in the Fatherland), and just back from the Far North, where much hilarity was had among the reindeer droppings, igloos and stinking chunks of vinegared herring.

However, it was not without incident: on the KLM plane over to Amsterdam it transpired than someone had forgotten to bring the travellers’ cheques – great! Penniless in one of the most expensive places in the known universe!

Amazingly, the weather held up and was sunny pretty much the whole time.

Oslo - fill your face up with that all-you-can eat buffet breakfast, cos there ain’t no free lunch in Norge - actually there wasn’t any lunch at all, cos everything cost two arms and a knob. Thank the Deities for doggy bags! A beer in a pub or restaurant = $10. A packet of 10 cigarettes = $8. A couple of bottles of mineral water and some chocolate bars from a 7-11 = $25. My miserable face peering into the window of the Rich Bastards’ Restaurant = priceless!

Weird stone sculptures by a Victorian nutter in Vigeland Park; viking ships 1,200 years old; wooden stave churches; after dark en masse dog training; not a Starbucks in sight

Flight to Bergen, notorious for raining 275 days of the year: it only rains for about 5 minutes during our entire stay. Cable car up to the mountain top; staying in a 4-star hotel but eating out of supermarkets; the scenic railway from Myrdal to Flam, followed by cruise on Sognefjord, then bus up vomit-inducing hairpins and hotels on unfeasible rocky outcrops; obnoxious Chinese tourists; throught glaciers on the Hardangervidda plateau on the train ride back to Oslo.

Norwegians: not as ‘hot‘ as one might think – female obesity rampant. Nice friendly bunch of folks, though…

Full photo set to follow shortly…