Sometimes the choices of the herd are incomprehensible. I’m not talking politics here, though clearly the same applies in this sphere (hint, hint, Mr.Shrub).

No, I’m talking about culture, with a capital ‘K.’ I’ve just finished listening to a movie review podcast entitled ‘Cinerama,’ a good solid British effort marred only by abysmal audio engineering standards.

Anyways, as I was dozing off in a post-caramel macchiato haze here in Hiroshima’s Diamond City, I heard him rating Monty Python’s ‘Holy Grail‘ as one of the funniest films of all time.

What!? Now I’ve become somewhat inured to hearing middle-aged Americans quote ad nauseam from this 30 year-old low-budget effort as if it were the cutting edge in modern UK comedy (apparently most of the US knows not of ‘Black Books,’ ‘The Mighty Boosh,’ ‘Little Britain‘ and ‘Spaced.’), but this from a young Brit, well, it rightly boggles the brainbox.

By the time I got round to seeing ‘Holy Grail‘ (admittedly later than most) it was a singularly underwhelming experience, a combination of having heard practically every scene reenacted in the pub way too often, and the fact that it just didn’t seem particularly funny.

In fact, I watched it again a few months ago and didn’t laugh once. I’d even go so far to say that much of it (particularly John Cleese’s contributions) are cringeworthy.

Now, before I get pilloried as being a humourless old git (which in many ways I am), I’ll say in my defence that I like ‘Life of Brian‘ and ‘Fawlty Towers.’

Now all this got me a-thinking about other forms of mass entertainment, especially music, and after a long cogitation I’ve come up with the following candidates for the most overrated albums/artists of all time. See if you agree!

(1) Jimi Hendrix

Arse! A glorified showman who had a few party tricks (playing the guitar with his dentata, and/or behind his back, then setting it alight – woo, you’re hard!), but whose recorded works are stupendously underwhelming, nay, bland.

(2) Eric Crapton

Crusty old sour-faced white middle-class tosser steals the Delta Blues and has the nerve to pretend he knows what it was like to be black in 1930’s southern USA. Fake! Phoney! Wanker! As a guitarist he might once have been on the cutting edge, but the last 25 years of tedious blues licks and gurning are a crime against humanity.

(3) The Clash

Always hailed as the epitome of punk, but let’s look at the facts. A bunch of rockers see the Sex Pistols, spray paint a few slogans on their shirts and record a great album, their eponymous debut. Now I love this record, and it is indeed a punk classic, but that is where it ends. Album 2 has a couple of decent tracks but Mick Jones’ old school rock colours start showing through, and then it all turns to shite with ‘London Calling‘, an album full of songs about Cadillacs sung in American accents – what does this have to do with punk? It’s certainly a departure from ‘I’m So Bored with the USA.’

(4) The Beatles – ‘Sergeant Pepper’

Now I like The Beat-less, but there is absolutely nothing special about this album. It’s like most of their records – lots of pretty good songs, a few classics, and a stinker or two (yes, Mr.Harrison, six minutes of you pretending you can play the sitar is not a pleasant experience). And even the lads themselves stated that it really wasn’t a concept album at all, just another clutch of random unconnected songs.

(5) The Rolling Stones

Any musical combo that out stays its welcome by 35 years does not deserve the vast income still generated by these gentlemen on their sell-out world tours. C’mon, people, when did this band last put put out a decent or relevant record? 1974? And that’s being generous. Rest assured, all those who have attended gigs in the last quarter century will be ‘processed‘ when I get into power…

(6) Led Zeppelin

Some of the music may have been ground-breaking, but with lyrics like this I just cannot suspend disbelief: “Oh, yeah, baby, baby, I believin’/Don’tcha realize sweet baby/Livin’, lovin’, she’s just a woman/I love you- ooh baby I love you.” Nope, I didn’t make those up – that’s the literary calibre of our venerable Heavy Blimp. Anyone with an IQ above 80 has no business here.

(7) Oasis

And we continue with our theme of crap words. The personification of Yob-ism, that recent British phenomena of venerating the dumbarses, here we encounter some Manc gobshites who have learned how to cobble together a few Beatles songs and stick some brainless verbiage on the top. Add an enormous dose of bravado, et voila, media darlings for the 90’s. We don’t need to analyze lyrics, the song titles are enough: “(As Long as They’ve Got) Cigarettes in Hell, Hung in a Bad Place, It’s Better People, Turn Up the Sun.”

I’m sure there are other artistes deserving of a mention in this here list, but I think you’ll agree that is more than enough to be getting on with…